So now it’s the turn of our bankers to squirm! Don’t you just love it when people you don’t like get their comeuppance! Not that anyone in power at Utilico is ever likely to suffer in the public eye like the HSBC bankers are. And certainly not any of our executives.
Actually I almost fell off my wobbly Swedish flat packed chair when I heard how much Rona Airhead (Oops sorry – typo – I mean Fairhead) was being paid by HSBC as a non-executive! To my feeble maths brain that works out at £7,000 a day! But then thinking about it perhaps I’d be wanting that level of compensation working for a bank which is no stranger to allegations that it profits from corrupt politicians, dictators, tax evaders, dealers of blood diamonds, arms dealers, drugs dealers and other unsavoury clients! While another of her non-executive roles sees her chairing the trust of the organisation which allegedly concealed the activities of its celebrity rapists and paedophiles for decades, me thinks someone is either very brave and smart or very greedy and stupid. So perhaps my Utilico colleagues are not that bad after all?
You’ll be relieved to hear we made our decision on our appointment to the Chair of the Audit Committee. Our preferred candidate was Finn Ickety. The man with lots of Finance Director experience with FTSE 100 companies. He proved to be as meticulous as we were led to believe. He did his due diligence on us. And can you believe it he declined our offer? Which meant we offered the position to our first reserve Sir Cumspect, (Timothy to his friends) who has accepted.
Indeed this has all played out much as Tony Wall, our Finance Director planned. He supported the recommendation of Finn’s appointment to our Swiss masters, anticipating Finn would decline allowing Sir Timothy as first reserve to be appointed. Sir Tim is much more a Utilico man. His first qualification is he is quite dim. So there is no chance he will ask questions or for huge amounts of cash. Secondly he is quite clubbable. And whilst he is very risk averse in many respects, he isn’t bright enough to work out what is risky in terms of personal behaviour and friendships. He has been spotted (on film) in fairly intimate embraces at the Soho clubs where Tony and Lyle Clean go. He is a big friend of Prince Andrew as well. Ethical and moral scruples don’t appear to trouble him or cloud his judgement. So like the fair Rona, we are not expecting him to dig where dirt is likely to be found.
From my point of view dim Tim’s appointment is a relief. He won’t bother me the way Brian has over the last couple of years – the last one in particular. Although I still don’t think we have heard the last of Brian. He has told me in confidence he has a secret file on Utilico and its characters and dealings. The question is how will he use it?